My little one turned 18 months about 10 days ago and I decided to put up a post before it was too late. As it is I am not a regular with the monthly updates, but this is considered to be an important milestone and I do not want it to go unnoticed.
There has been a sudden growth spurt in her and she's grown so tall that her dresses no longer can keep up with her height. So we happily went shopping and ended up bringing lots of nice dresses for her. She loves climbing stairs and coming down.Only change being climbing stairs is done in adult like fashion, holding my hands and walking up like adults. And she loves it when she manages two at a time. No more crawling up the steps, its proper climbing.
She sings quite a lot of action rhymes in the nursery and her favorite is to do the 'turn around'. When we say Teddy Bear Teddy Bear turn around, she starts circling herself and it almost never stops. And then she tries to steady herself, loses her balance sometimes, only to start turning all over again.
She's getting really competitive and its always only with dad. By nature I decided that she does not like sweets for when I offered her carrot halwa prepared for 'Varalakshmi Nombu' last Friday, she rejected it. Then I tried gulab jamuns - they were refused again. But on Sunday when I gave her daddy the leftover halwa, she wanted some from his bowl and more and more. On this not again ,there's a new bean bag in the living room and dad loves to sit on it and stretch his feet. Only when the little one is not around. For even if we mention that dad is going to sit on it, she runs and jumps on to the bean bag and refuses to let daddy sit on it. If he's found sitting on it, she pushes him off and occupies her seat. On the other hand, amma can sit for as long as she wants and Aditi will sit on my lap without complain.
She loves her bus rides and gives a huge grin to the people in the bus. Only that the elderly respond is a totally different story.The rest are too worried and do not care to smile back - what will they lose I am yet to understand. Th child makes such an effort to smile at them, yet they turn their face to the window and pretend to not see her. But the oldies love her smile and respond back. They are waved good-byes and the bus driver will definitely get a happy wave and bye-bye when I wheel her pram out from the bus.Of late, amma has also been the recipient of lots of huggie and kissie - most unusual given that she never wanted to be hugged or kissed until recently. Dad gets his usual dose of flying kisses every morning and he so eagerly looks forward to it.
The little cleaner loves to use the broom, the cloth or anything - just plain tissue and act as if she's cleaning the rooms. Every thing that amma uses for cleaning - she must use them too. Sometimes gibes a clean after I'm don with it - just to make sure i have done a good job of it. She also helps me in the kitchen, by carefully picking up left over(by dad) glasses from the living room to the kitchen and depositing them in the sink. Also if appa is lazy and amma is stubborn, she happily helps amma by bringing the breakfast plate to appa in the living room and removes his plate once done.
TV does not interest her - she loves to play with the kitchen items or her own toys/ books. She's happy to read new books and loves to read Appa's medical books- top to bottom fro mend to end.I've tried to start potty training, but she shows absolutely no interest and refuses to use the potty seat. She's still happy with her nappy, so #I've given up on trying to train her now.So many things in such little time that I am sure - with my memory like a sieve - I shall forget it within a few days time and worry about not writing it down here.Wishing my little one a happy month and looking forward to celebrating all those nice festival colours.
Tuesday 19 August 2008
Wednesday 13 August 2008
The Engagement - II
For part I please click here.
By popular demand, I am forced to write this post much earlier than my lazy self would have normally done. For those of you coming here to read some more 'masala', I am sorry folks, this is a typical girl meets boy - boy likes girl, girl says 'yes' and they unite in wedlock. But something that simple and a few words does not make a post. So shall go into further details...
So dad and I wait outside the 'boy's' house, wondering if he was living upstairs in that bungalow. But dad clearly remembered that he had mentioned no such info and so we look for a calling bell. Its quite dark and we cant really trace one, but sensing some commotion outside, the boy comes over to open the door. And I forgot to mention that prior to this actual meet, photos of the boy and girl were exchanged. I had the priviledge of opening up the envelope containing his photo(bcos mom and dad were out of town that day). I vaguely remember telling my parents that the boy is too fair and I would be no match, so we shall delay this meet. The actual reason being I was least interested in marriage, when something as nice as an onsite proposal was beckoning me with open arms. But stubborn that my parents were, they convinced me to 'atleast' meet the guy before I fled from the country.
Back to the Thursday night that we waited outside his home in Chennai, the boy dressed up in formal attire opened the door. At first sight my jaws dropped. My thoughts raced and I realized that the photo did no justice to the actual person. I saw in front of us a fair, smart guy - politely welcoming us into his living room. After intial pleasantries were exchanged, and I was less carried away by his 'looks', we discussed abt our families, his future plans, his education and much more. No we did not have a one-to-one girl-boy session as is the norm. There was no kesari, vada, mixture as is again usually the norm when the boy & his family visits the girl. But we had enough of banana chips, biscuits and juice for company. Mostly dad did the talking/questioning and he patiently answered them all. We left after probably an hour and called mom(who was away on training in Manipal) to discuss about the boy.
When we reached home, grandparents were already fast asleep, but who would not like some gossip, especially because we went to meet the boy. Grandmom got up and settled herself into a chair and my cousin S sat on the floor waiting to hear about the boy. I had literally no negatives to talk about the boy given that we never spoke to each other much, but still had to say something wrong. So here was my conversation at 10 PM with my Pati and cousin.
Me: Pati, the boy is too fair.
Pati: So what, atleast your child will be as fair as he is. And this my grandmom believed so sincerely that even when I was pregnant, she would always remark that the child will be as fair as her father.
Me: Pati, He never spoke a word in Tamil(my mother tongue). How could I marry someone who never spoke my language.
Pati: I never spoke Tamil until I was 12. Yes, my grandmom was born and brought up in Andhra Pradesh and had no knowledge of her mother tongue until she was 12. She was later sent to her aunt's place in a village in TamilNadu to learn Tamil so she could be married off.
Cousin: My bro lived all his life in Mumbai. When you listen to his Tamil, will you call him a Tamilian? We call him a mumbai wala. Language is no bar.
Me: The boy will definitely not say 'yes' to me. He's too good for me.
Pati: Thats not for you to decide. Wait until he comes back. Go and change and sleep now.We'll discuss the rest tomorrow morning.
So saying grandmom goes back to sleep and cousin goes back to her books. Its already late and I have to leave early the next day, so I dash off to catch some sleep.
The next day dawned bright and clear. Dad tells me that he's too good a boy for us to loose, so I better agree. To be honest, I found nothing wrong with the boy, so simply agreed. Just one meeting and one simple decision. Dad spoke to my in-laws and told them of 'our' decision. They very sweetly requested for some more time for their boy to give an answer.
On Saturday, mom is back from her training and we are off to finish some last-minute shopping. We are still waiting for an answer, but travelling onsite is top priority for me. That evening my mom-in-law calls home, speaks to my grandmom for a long time and finally revelas her son's decision - that he has actually agreed. My pati is excited - she tells Thatha and my cousin. Pati calls us and we are busy gliding our way through crowded Pondy Bazar. We can hardle hear Pati what with all the buzz around us, but Pati conveys the happy news to my mom, congradulates her and tells us to buy some sweets on our way back for thatha.
I can hardly digest this fact. Thousands of thoughts run through my mind. I can barely speak to my mom. We just hold hands tightly,smiling at each other and return home. The next morning I receive a call from the now familiar number and then happens our first actual conversation. I left for Germany the next day, but thanks to email and occasional chats, we 'learnt' a little more of each other.
After my return, and although we lived in the same city, we were always busy with work that we hardly actually met during courtship. And was finally united 8 months after I first met him. Incidentally August is when I first 'saw' the boy and we shall celebrate the 5th anniversary in a couple of weeks time.
PS: This is supposed to be my child's blog, so her 18 month update is WIP. Will be coming soon. So watch this space.
By popular demand, I am forced to write this post much earlier than my lazy self would have normally done. For those of you coming here to read some more 'masala', I am sorry folks, this is a typical girl meets boy - boy likes girl, girl says 'yes' and they unite in wedlock. But something that simple and a few words does not make a post. So shall go into further details...
So dad and I wait outside the 'boy's' house, wondering if he was living upstairs in that bungalow. But dad clearly remembered that he had mentioned no such info and so we look for a calling bell. Its quite dark and we cant really trace one, but sensing some commotion outside, the boy comes over to open the door. And I forgot to mention that prior to this actual meet, photos of the boy and girl were exchanged. I had the priviledge of opening up the envelope containing his photo(bcos mom and dad were out of town that day). I vaguely remember telling my parents that the boy is too fair and I would be no match, so we shall delay this meet. The actual reason being I was least interested in marriage, when something as nice as an onsite proposal was beckoning me with open arms. But stubborn that my parents were, they convinced me to 'atleast' meet the guy before I fled from the country.
Back to the Thursday night that we waited outside his home in Chennai, the boy dressed up in formal attire opened the door. At first sight my jaws dropped. My thoughts raced and I realized that the photo did no justice to the actual person. I saw in front of us a fair, smart guy - politely welcoming us into his living room. After intial pleasantries were exchanged, and I was less carried away by his 'looks', we discussed abt our families, his future plans, his education and much more. No we did not have a one-to-one girl-boy session as is the norm. There was no kesari, vada, mixture as is again usually the norm when the boy & his family visits the girl. But we had enough of banana chips, biscuits and juice for company. Mostly dad did the talking/questioning and he patiently answered them all. We left after probably an hour and called mom(who was away on training in Manipal) to discuss about the boy.
When we reached home, grandparents were already fast asleep, but who would not like some gossip, especially because we went to meet the boy. Grandmom got up and settled herself into a chair and my cousin S sat on the floor waiting to hear about the boy. I had literally no negatives to talk about the boy given that we never spoke to each other much, but still had to say something wrong. So here was my conversation at 10 PM with my Pati and cousin.
Me: Pati, the boy is too fair.
Pati: So what, atleast your child will be as fair as he is. And this my grandmom believed so sincerely that even when I was pregnant, she would always remark that the child will be as fair as her father.
Me: Pati, He never spoke a word in Tamil(my mother tongue). How could I marry someone who never spoke my language.
Pati: I never spoke Tamil until I was 12. Yes, my grandmom was born and brought up in Andhra Pradesh and had no knowledge of her mother tongue until she was 12. She was later sent to her aunt's place in a village in TamilNadu to learn Tamil so she could be married off.
Cousin: My bro lived all his life in Mumbai. When you listen to his Tamil, will you call him a Tamilian? We call him a mumbai wala. Language is no bar.
Me: The boy will definitely not say 'yes' to me. He's too good for me.
Pati: Thats not for you to decide. Wait until he comes back. Go and change and sleep now.We'll discuss the rest tomorrow morning.
So saying grandmom goes back to sleep and cousin goes back to her books. Its already late and I have to leave early the next day, so I dash off to catch some sleep.
The next day dawned bright and clear. Dad tells me that he's too good a boy for us to loose, so I better agree. To be honest, I found nothing wrong with the boy, so simply agreed. Just one meeting and one simple decision. Dad spoke to my in-laws and told them of 'our' decision. They very sweetly requested for some more time for their boy to give an answer.
On Saturday, mom is back from her training and we are off to finish some last-minute shopping. We are still waiting for an answer, but travelling onsite is top priority for me. That evening my mom-in-law calls home, speaks to my grandmom for a long time and finally revelas her son's decision - that he has actually agreed. My pati is excited - she tells Thatha and my cousin. Pati calls us and we are busy gliding our way through crowded Pondy Bazar. We can hardle hear Pati what with all the buzz around us, but Pati conveys the happy news to my mom, congradulates her and tells us to buy some sweets on our way back for thatha.
I can hardly digest this fact. Thousands of thoughts run through my mind. I can barely speak to my mom. We just hold hands tightly,smiling at each other and return home. The next morning I receive a call from the now familiar number and then happens our first actual conversation. I left for Germany the next day, but thanks to email and occasional chats, we 'learnt' a little more of each other.
After my return, and although we lived in the same city, we were always busy with work that we hardly actually met during courtship. And was finally united 8 months after I first met him. Incidentally August is when I first 'saw' the boy and we shall celebrate the 5th anniversary in a couple of weeks time.
PS: This is supposed to be my child's blog, so her 18 month update is WIP. Will be coming soon. So watch this space.
Friday 8 August 2008
The engagement
I have been reading quite a few of the engagement stories of late(I am reading all the old posts...) and decided to recall mine here.
I could very well be a member of Tharini's Green Sulk Club for I had the typically old-fashioned arranged South Indian marriage. It was almost a year since I finished college and joined one of the Indian software giants through the much-hyped campus placements. Like any other budding, normal software professional, I was dreaming of a trip abroad at the company's expense. Normal working hours were between 8:30 AM and 10 PM. I was working for an extremely busy project with tight deadlines that life outside work was almost nil.
In the midst of this, my aunt started the 'horoscope-matching' and look out for eliglible boys for my cousin, who was 2 years younger to me. My parents were level-headed, not too much bothered by the process. But people dont leave you alone if you are happy where you are and other relatives started pestering my parents to start looking out for matches for me. I was least bothered, given that I hardly spent much time at home. So some time in July '03, mom declared that she had placed an advertisement in the newspaper's matrimonial columns.
As an aside, we know that these ads would yield nothing, given that we had placed ads atleast half a dozen times for my older cousin in 2 years, who had her own set of demands which were never fulfilled by the so called eligible batchelors.Anyway, the ad appeared and the horoscopes poured in at my parents place. My parents selected a few that they felt were most eligible, passed them to me for 'approval' and then went on to 'talk' further with the boy's parents. Horoscopes were matched and the ones that did not were discarded. The funny things about ads/profiles which my cousin and I would laugh over -
Among the few that my parents finally shortlisted was a doc, working/living in Chennai(oh, what a relief. I can continue to work in the same place without having to move cities and jobs). After a few converastions with my future in-laws, it was decided that the girl-boy seeing had to be done almost immediately, for I was supposedto be leaving abroad for work within 2 weeks. So the in-laws, who are living in Bangalore decide to come to Chennai - to live with their son for a week and also finalize the match making during their trip.
Man proposes, but fate disposes, for my mother, who's a bank manager, was off for a training to Manipal in Karnataka for a week. And so the in-laws who had planned their trip to Chennai decided to postpone until mom returned. At the end of the same week, I was leaving the country not to return for a minimum of 6 months. This was an opportunity not to be lost according to the elders in the house. They declared that we finish this girl-boy viewing within the same week. But how could we do it. The boy's parents were not around, the girl's mom was away. So the only involved parties around were the girl's father, the girl and the boy.
My in-laws graciously permitted us to visit the boy - given that the boy was living alone, he could not come alone to see me at my place. But allowed us to visit him. Remember the girl is not supposed to talk to the boy before this event. So that thursday evening taking special permission to leave by 5 PM at work, I left - all dressed up for the occassion to meet the boy. Dad and I caught got in the famous Kathipara junction traffic and the 20 minute ride turned into an hour and a half. Not nice if you are getting the man to wait this long. Neway reached his house by 8 PM finally.
This is proving to be a very long one. So to be cont.....d
I could very well be a member of Tharini's Green Sulk Club for I had the typically old-fashioned arranged South Indian marriage. It was almost a year since I finished college and joined one of the Indian software giants through the much-hyped campus placements. Like any other budding, normal software professional, I was dreaming of a trip abroad at the company's expense. Normal working hours were between 8:30 AM and 10 PM. I was working for an extremely busy project with tight deadlines that life outside work was almost nil.
In the midst of this, my aunt started the 'horoscope-matching' and look out for eliglible boys for my cousin, who was 2 years younger to me. My parents were level-headed, not too much bothered by the process. But people dont leave you alone if you are happy where you are and other relatives started pestering my parents to start looking out for matches for me. I was least bothered, given that I hardly spent much time at home. So some time in July '03, mom declared that she had placed an advertisement in the newspaper's matrimonial columns.
As an aside, we know that these ads would yield nothing, given that we had placed ads atleast half a dozen times for my older cousin in 2 years, who had her own set of demands which were never fulfilled by the so called eligible batchelors.Anyway, the ad appeared and the horoscopes poured in at my parents place. My parents selected a few that they felt were most eligible, passed them to me for 'approval' and then went on to 'talk' further with the boy's parents. Horoscopes were matched and the ones that did not were discarded. The funny things about ads/profiles which my cousin and I would laugh over -
- All boys were invariably from Bay area, CF
- They were always school/university toppers - yes all of them!!
- Photos would always be in front of the poshest car in the car park that they never owned.
- They would always be very fair(brown) and very tall(5'6") according to the parents.
Among the few that my parents finally shortlisted was a doc, working/living in Chennai(oh, what a relief. I can continue to work in the same place without having to move cities and jobs). After a few converastions with my future in-laws, it was decided that the girl-boy seeing had to be done almost immediately, for I was supposedto be leaving abroad for work within 2 weeks. So the in-laws, who are living in Bangalore decide to come to Chennai - to live with their son for a week and also finalize the match making during their trip.
Man proposes, but fate disposes, for my mother, who's a bank manager, was off for a training to Manipal in Karnataka for a week. And so the in-laws who had planned their trip to Chennai decided to postpone until mom returned. At the end of the same week, I was leaving the country not to return for a minimum of 6 months. This was an opportunity not to be lost according to the elders in the house. They declared that we finish this girl-boy viewing within the same week. But how could we do it. The boy's parents were not around, the girl's mom was away. So the only involved parties around were the girl's father, the girl and the boy.
My in-laws graciously permitted us to visit the boy - given that the boy was living alone, he could not come alone to see me at my place. But allowed us to visit him. Remember the girl is not supposed to talk to the boy before this event. So that thursday evening taking special permission to leave by 5 PM at work, I left - all dressed up for the occassion to meet the boy. Dad and I caught got in the famous Kathipara junction traffic and the 20 minute ride turned into an hour and a half. Not nice if you are getting the man to wait this long. Neway reached his house by 8 PM finally.
This is proving to be a very long one. So to be cont.....d
Monday 4 August 2008
Walking with the pram
I am a huge fan of public transport and this country has some very good links. Anyway the extremely high parking rates makes it impossible to drive to the city centre where I work. So we take the bus, I drop off the little one at her nursery, walk to my workplace and the same routine follows in the evening. Today as we were walking back from the bus stop towards home in the evening, the child got a bit upset and started humming, I think she was probably hungry.
The summer vacation has begun and the school going kids go bored.The sun outside is shining and they hang out on the pavement most of the time. Today a group of kids, about 6-8 years old were standing by the road. And they tried to imitate Aditi. Going aaaaaaa, eeeeee and all kind of sounds to be followed by Early in the morning - As if I did not understand what they really meant. I usually turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to those on the road, but today they were having fun at my child's expense and I was rather disturbed. One kid started and the rest followed and continued doing it until we were far far away. As usual, I walked off without battling an eyelid.
Why do these kids still practise racism so strongly? Its as if its in their blood and wont go away at all. On the other hand, I know of prefectly nice people, who give up their seats in the bus when they see a mother struggling with a child or baby. Anyway I was mightily upset and this kept ringing in my ears. So I decided to vent out through this outlet and get it out and done with. Children in my opinion should be taught against colour and creed, but its not to be expected in this country - who gave us our independence many years ago, but there's still a small population that thinks of us as their slaves. Some day in the future, I hope they realize their mistake and turn a new leaf...
The summer vacation has begun and the school going kids go bored.The sun outside is shining and they hang out on the pavement most of the time. Today a group of kids, about 6-8 years old were standing by the road. And they tried to imitate Aditi. Going aaaaaaa, eeeeee and all kind of sounds to be followed by Early in the morning - As if I did not understand what they really meant. I usually turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to those on the road, but today they were having fun at my child's expense and I was rather disturbed. One kid started and the rest followed and continued doing it until we were far far away. As usual, I walked off without battling an eyelid.
Why do these kids still practise racism so strongly? Its as if its in their blood and wont go away at all. On the other hand, I know of prefectly nice people, who give up their seats in the bus when they see a mother struggling with a child or baby. Anyway I was mightily upset and this kept ringing in my ears. So I decided to vent out through this outlet and get it out and done with. Children in my opinion should be taught against colour and creed, but its not to be expected in this country - who gave us our independence many years ago, but there's still a small population that thinks of us as their slaves. Some day in the future, I hope they realize their mistake and turn a new leaf...
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