Sending prayers for her better health.
Monday 23 November 2009
Unwell
I am at home today when I should have had another day at work busy designing and developing a new application in a newer technology. I had taken off yesterday and was just happy to be home with my little girl. The winter bug has affected her and she's taken ill. After an enjoyable weekend with my cousin and family who had dropped in from London, Aditi fell sick. And then came the fever. More doses of medicine followed. She was getting better yesterday or so I thought, but the fever returned again and again. And I decided to take today off. We did all we would have done over the weekend- reading books, singing rhymes, playing and trying to be as cheerful as possible. But when the little body curls up on my lap when that fever strikes, I feel sad for her, but grateful that I am with her and can indulge her. I cooked whatever she liked - her favourite dishes - but if only she manages to keep any of them in her troublesome tummy - that would be nice. No milk for a couple of days. And she's happy to have fresh fruit juice. Wishing she gets better today. And can go back to school tomorrow and play with her friends. She does miss them and we try to do whatever she would have done in school.
Tuesday 17 November 2009
History repeats itself
Many many years ago, when the luxury of maids were not available in every home, a little girl about two years old was playing with the waters in the bathroom where her mom was trying to wash the day's clothes. Those were the days when the electric heater was still considered a luxury in a little Karnataka town. They lived in a little township, where houses were few and the afternoons were quiet. People would be sleeping in their homes away from the scorching summer sun. Frustrated at being disturbed by her daughter, and the limited supply of water soon running out, the mom lifted her daughter and placed her outside the bathroom. She then quickly shut the door and locked herself inside. The daughter was upset, cried a little, threw a tantrum outside and then realized her mom would not be able to see her. She started fiddling with the latch outside the room. The mom finished with her washing, was about to carry the bucket load of clothes to dry them out in the terrace. Little did the mom know that she'll be stuck inside for over 2 hours. Her daughter had managed to lock her from outside!!!
The mom tried to explain to the little girl to unlock the door. The girl by then had started crying loudly. It was impossible to pacify her and the mom cries out aloud to through the window. In the local language, she calls out for help. But there is no one around. The roads are deserted and empty. Not a soul in sight. It would be about five-six hours before her husband would arrive home. Thirty long minutes later, the mother is desperate to stop the child crying. And she decides to cut open the door in the bathroom. Now that's not a job for a labourer or a carpenter, not for a lady in her early twenties alone at home.
When electric heaters were not available, hot water would be produced by burning logs of wood in a huge anda (pot). The knife used to cut logs became the mom's tool. She used all her strength and managed to cut to remove a square panel from the bathroom door just below the latch. She then put her hands through the hole in the door, unlatched it and hugged the crying daughter. All of this cutting took about two hours and all this while the girl had been crying. That led to her falling ill the next day. And I have to appreciate the mother for being so brave, thinking and acting quickly, saving herself and her daughter that day.
When Aditi was about 5 months old, my in-laws came to live here for a few months. And my MIL has narrated this story more than once, how her daughter was troubling her, how she locked her out, and how she ended up being locked and finally cutting through the door with a rusted log- cutter knife. I would be in awe, never in my mind did it cross at that time that I would be stuck in a similar situation. Never ever...
We now live a very comfortable life and thankfully have child locks and emergency dial numbers! This happened about seven months ago, Aditi was just over two, and she knew that we locked ourselves inside the bathroom. It was a Saturday morning and Prashanth was away at work doing a long day. I got ready to give Aditi a bath. She wanted to use the toilet, so I put her on her seat and left her on the toilet to go and select her clothes. Within a few seconds I hear the girl banging the door shut. I turn around and run towards the bathroom, but she's already locked herself inside. And is happily saying 'Don't come inside'. And unfortunately I had shut the bathroom windows as it would be too cold otherwise.My heart skips a beat or a few may be. I was not sure what to do. thankfully the girl still thinks its her game and continues to laugh happily. I have never operated the child locks before, so I had no idea what to do. I panicked. I rushed to my neighbour, whose was locked. I came back and tried calling Prashanth, although I knew that there would be no signal inside the theatres. I left him a voicemail and went back upstairs to the bathroom. By this time, Aditi was considerably scared and started crying. Finally an idea struck - call 999 - the emergency helpline and I was put through to the fire service. I explained as patiently as I could and they tried to calm me and asked me to calm the child. I told them that they could break any door/window in my house - just get the child out. As I stood trying to explain the situation to Aditi and asking her to open the door, an idea struck me. No, I was not aware of child locks being fitted to all doors here. I was glad that the tool box was not in the attic. It was easily reachable and I reached for the flat headed screw driver. I managed to unlock the door by turning the child lock around and hugged the child. Oh what a relief! I quickly also called the fire service and told them that I had unlocked the door. A few minutes later after both of us were done with our hugging, I left a happy voicemail for Prashanth. And it reminded me of the time when my MIL was stuck in a similar situation. Thankfully I was outside and could call for help. That was definitely a much better state than being stuck inside - without access to a phone/help.
The mom tried to explain to the little girl to unlock the door. The girl by then had started crying loudly. It was impossible to pacify her and the mom cries out aloud to through the window. In the local language, she calls out for help. But there is no one around. The roads are deserted and empty. Not a soul in sight. It would be about five-six hours before her husband would arrive home. Thirty long minutes later, the mother is desperate to stop the child crying. And she decides to cut open the door in the bathroom. Now that's not a job for a labourer or a carpenter, not for a lady in her early twenties alone at home.
When electric heaters were not available, hot water would be produced by burning logs of wood in a huge anda (pot). The knife used to cut logs became the mom's tool. She used all her strength and managed to cut to remove a square panel from the bathroom door just below the latch. She then put her hands through the hole in the door, unlatched it and hugged the crying daughter. All of this cutting took about two hours and all this while the girl had been crying. That led to her falling ill the next day. And I have to appreciate the mother for being so brave, thinking and acting quickly, saving herself and her daughter that day.
When Aditi was about 5 months old, my in-laws came to live here for a few months. And my MIL has narrated this story more than once, how her daughter was troubling her, how she locked her out, and how she ended up being locked and finally cutting through the door with a rusted log- cutter knife. I would be in awe, never in my mind did it cross at that time that I would be stuck in a similar situation. Never ever...
We now live a very comfortable life and thankfully have child locks and emergency dial numbers! This happened about seven months ago, Aditi was just over two, and she knew that we locked ourselves inside the bathroom. It was a Saturday morning and Prashanth was away at work doing a long day. I got ready to give Aditi a bath. She wanted to use the toilet, so I put her on her seat and left her on the toilet to go and select her clothes. Within a few seconds I hear the girl banging the door shut. I turn around and run towards the bathroom, but she's already locked herself inside. And is happily saying 'Don't come inside'. And unfortunately I had shut the bathroom windows as it would be too cold otherwise.My heart skips a beat or a few may be. I was not sure what to do. thankfully the girl still thinks its her game and continues to laugh happily. I have never operated the child locks before, so I had no idea what to do. I panicked. I rushed to my neighbour, whose was locked. I came back and tried calling Prashanth, although I knew that there would be no signal inside the theatres. I left him a voicemail and went back upstairs to the bathroom. By this time, Aditi was considerably scared and started crying. Finally an idea struck - call 999 - the emergency helpline and I was put through to the fire service. I explained as patiently as I could and they tried to calm me and asked me to calm the child. I told them that they could break any door/window in my house - just get the child out. As I stood trying to explain the situation to Aditi and asking her to open the door, an idea struck me. No, I was not aware of child locks being fitted to all doors here. I was glad that the tool box was not in the attic. It was easily reachable and I reached for the flat headed screw driver. I managed to unlock the door by turning the child lock around and hugged the child. Oh what a relief! I quickly also called the fire service and told them that I had unlocked the door. A few minutes later after both of us were done with our hugging, I left a happy voicemail for Prashanth. And it reminded me of the time when my MIL was stuck in a similar situation. Thankfully I was outside and could call for help. That was definitely a much better state than being stuck inside - without access to a phone/help.
What separation does to you?
Exams were cleared many months ago. That was one of the reasons why the boss refused to accompany me during my India trip earlier this year. Now that they were out of the way, a trip to India was something that just had to be planned and executed. We went for a week each to Swiss and Italy in Summer/Autumn, and I had exhausted most of my holidays for this year. We decided that Prashanth would make the trip, and me and Aditi would stay put here. Except that I never ever dreamt this coming. All I had in my mind was that I should take care of the baby and myself and stay safe. I never thought about how much the child or I would miss him. It never ever occurred to me....
The original trip was to last 2 weeks, but slowly a stop over at Dubai was added and we finally ended up with 2 weeks and 5 days. I still had no worries, and was quite sure that I would be able to manage on my own. Thanks to my friendly neighbour, whom I had almost called for help in the previous post.
Aditi and I went to drop Prashanth at the train station and Aditi cheerily waved goodbye and kisses to her dad. My heart skipped a beat, as the train moved out slowly, the thought of not seeing him for the next 3 weeks - that was the first time it hit me that Aditi might miss her dad too. She had not the least idea that he would be away for 3 weeks. Trouble started the next morning, when dad was not around when she woke up. Prashanth was already st his sister's place in Dubai, so a quick call and a chat later, things were fine. That evening and then ext were sort of okay. I could tell her that Dad was at athai's place in Duabi and she was convinced. It was after Prashanth reached Bangalore, 4 days after he had left home that Aditi started crying. She wanted to be with her dad and she made it clear - Take me to Appa's house or Take me to Bangalore was the constant cry heard in my house.
We used to chat with dad on the webcam every evening and Aditi was happy to see him and hear his voice, but within minutes of closing the conversation, she would be back to crying. Meanwhile I was battling with my own loneliness - the evenings were long and boring, I had nothing much to do, the ironing was done, the house was cleaned, and honestly I did not do much cooking during the 3 week period. I think I was not interested. There was no one to relish my food, so I lose interest in cooking. I made real simple food for me and Aditi.
I never thought I would miss him so much. I never expected that I would blog about this, but better to get it out and be done with, rather than bottle up all my thoughts. All I needed was his presence and the laughter. The house felt empty when I walked in every evening. There was nothing to look forward to in my house.
Weekends were worse. The first weekend was Halloween and it was spent in dressing Aditi up on Friday at her nursery and on Saturday to go around the estate. Sunday seemed never-ending and I was waiting for the working week. The following week was slightly better. Prashanth was at Chennai, we spoke for a long time and most importantly were pretty excited about his return the following Thursday. Four days to go and the countdown began. But due to unforeseen circumstances, his trip had to be postponed by two days. So Saturday it was. I hate night-time driving, so we decided that Prashanth would take the train from the airport to Sheffield. He did not expect us to receive him at the airport. But since it was a Saturday and both of us were pretty excited about dad's return, we cleaned and scrubbed the house clean - ready to give dad a warm welcome. We hopped literally like two little girls from home singing rhymes and what not, and took the train to the airport. Aditi told everybody who cared to listen to her - 'My Appa is back'. Dad was as happy as we were to see him. Aditi refused to get down from his arms throughout the journey. And I was the happiest to have him back.
I should admit that it has been a very long time since I have stayed alone in this country without Prashanth and this time it made me realize how much we needed each other's company more as parents and it made me think about all the single parents out there - how do they ever manage all on their own.
On and now the wet towel on the bed no longer bothers me...
The original trip was to last 2 weeks, but slowly a stop over at Dubai was added and we finally ended up with 2 weeks and 5 days. I still had no worries, and was quite sure that I would be able to manage on my own. Thanks to my friendly neighbour, whom I had almost called for help in the previous post.
Aditi and I went to drop Prashanth at the train station and Aditi cheerily waved goodbye and kisses to her dad. My heart skipped a beat, as the train moved out slowly, the thought of not seeing him for the next 3 weeks - that was the first time it hit me that Aditi might miss her dad too. She had not the least idea that he would be away for 3 weeks. Trouble started the next morning, when dad was not around when she woke up. Prashanth was already st his sister's place in Dubai, so a quick call and a chat later, things were fine. That evening and then ext were sort of okay. I could tell her that Dad was at athai's place in Duabi and she was convinced. It was after Prashanth reached Bangalore, 4 days after he had left home that Aditi started crying. She wanted to be with her dad and she made it clear - Take me to Appa's house or Take me to Bangalore was the constant cry heard in my house.
We used to chat with dad on the webcam every evening and Aditi was happy to see him and hear his voice, but within minutes of closing the conversation, she would be back to crying. Meanwhile I was battling with my own loneliness - the evenings were long and boring, I had nothing much to do, the ironing was done, the house was cleaned, and honestly I did not do much cooking during the 3 week period. I think I was not interested. There was no one to relish my food, so I lose interest in cooking. I made real simple food for me and Aditi.
I never thought I would miss him so much. I never expected that I would blog about this, but better to get it out and be done with, rather than bottle up all my thoughts. All I needed was his presence and the laughter. The house felt empty when I walked in every evening. There was nothing to look forward to in my house.
Weekends were worse. The first weekend was Halloween and it was spent in dressing Aditi up on Friday at her nursery and on Saturday to go around the estate. Sunday seemed never-ending and I was waiting for the working week. The following week was slightly better. Prashanth was at Chennai, we spoke for a long time and most importantly were pretty excited about his return the following Thursday. Four days to go and the countdown began. But due to unforeseen circumstances, his trip had to be postponed by two days. So Saturday it was. I hate night-time driving, so we decided that Prashanth would take the train from the airport to Sheffield. He did not expect us to receive him at the airport. But since it was a Saturday and both of us were pretty excited about dad's return, we cleaned and scrubbed the house clean - ready to give dad a warm welcome. We hopped literally like two little girls from home singing rhymes and what not, and took the train to the airport. Aditi told everybody who cared to listen to her - 'My Appa is back'. Dad was as happy as we were to see him. Aditi refused to get down from his arms throughout the journey. And I was the happiest to have him back.
I should admit that it has been a very long time since I have stayed alone in this country without Prashanth and this time it made me realize how much we needed each other's company more as parents and it made me think about all the single parents out there - how do they ever manage all on their own.
On and now the wet towel on the bed no longer bothers me...
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